The past few months

I am 27 years old. I do not have my life together. I just graduated 3 months ago and I’ve already almost been homeless twice since then. The only reason I have not been is because of the charity of others. Right now I’m sitting in a spare bedroom at a relative’s house.

When I arrived I was completely exhausted and really needed time to heal. I had just been forced out of an abusive relationship by forces beyond my control. I had been living in a hotel for quite a while before, never knowing if I’d find enough money to keep my stay there for an extra week. I didn’t get to rest. I had to start working right away to make late payments and buy things I needed. I still have not been able to refill my hormones and I am running out soon but don’t have enough to order more.

It has been 3 weeks since I’ve gotten here and things have finally started to slow down and I have been able to think about my life in the longer term. I only now, after all this time have started getting plans.

I’m trying really hard to figure out my life but I feel completely lost. It is really difficult living only because others let you. I feel like I’m a complete loser. I’m a burden on everyone I know. because of that I never quite feel at home anywhere I go. I don’t fully feel welcome here but I don’t have a home to return to.

I also had to leave all my friends behind when I left Brownsville. And even though I get to spend time with my cousin, I still miss home. The dorms were the closest thing I ever had to a real home and to a family and now it’s gone and I can never return.

Honestly, I really wish I knew how to be an adult. I’m so scared and lost right now.