I thought that I would fully return sooner but I had a lot of emotional problems. I don’t want to seem over-dramatic but I am very fragile. I am constantly falling apart over here. I still cry myself to sleep almost every night. I still cry every day. I am struggling here. But still, here is more of what I’ve been up to:
The first day of school the teacher called me ‘her’ and then almost counted me absent because she didn’t see another person that would have a male name. That was nice but by the third day of class she was calling me ‘he’ again. I’m sending her an email to correct her. Hopefully that fixes it so I don’t start crying after class again. I’ve also had a few moments when people looked surprised to learn my name.
I finally ran into a problem with restrooms. I wasn’t sure what to do since I was wearing very girly clothes but don’t particularly pass and I didn’t know what the school’s policy is or the law. I decided to use the men’s restroom and had some awkward encounters and some weird stares. After that I started running next door to use the male or female restroom they have. It’s inconvenient but it’s safe and very private too since no one knows that restroom is there.
More recently I went to downtown Brownsville after school which made me very nervous. Older people go there and I thought it would be a very conservative area. One person gave us a really mean scare but just walked away. Then an older man passed by my ex and I and said, “Hi, girls, how are you?”. And then I smiled the whole way home.
I played Katawa Shoujo since a friend recommended it. I loved it. It’s so great. A lot of the medical stuff made me feel queasy as most things do but it didn’t ruin the experience. My first playthrough I accidentally made the main character end up with a character named Emi. Emi is a very enthusiastic runner and the game made me interested in running. I ran a few days but haven’t quite kept it up. Hoping to, though. My second game intentionally followed the route of a character named Hanako. She was easy for me to relate to. She’s shy (though shyer than I am), she covers the right side of her face with her hair like I do but for different reasons, and she plays a weird game as she steps on tiles which is similar to something I do. I loved the Emi story and enjoyed most of both but didn’t quite like the way the Hanako story played out. Katawa Shoujo is a visual novel, it doesn’t have a whole lot of choices but still a lot of different routes, one for each of the girls in the game. I recommend it highly.
I also played through They Bleed Pixels. I really like the game, it’s a fun challenging platformer.
I’m half way through P3. Gender and Sexuality stuff will be posted later.