I think I may have one or two followers that may want to know why my blog went down. I think I am ready to provide some explanation.
In my last blog post I posted some information that I thought was true and publicly known. I was pretty excited about it all and didn’t think to verify everything before posting it. Then I received several emails. Two of them were angry emails from two of my heroes, one of whom the information was about.
I just didn’t handle it well. I felt horrible, I hurt someone I admire and managed to anger two of my heroes, that’s most of them. Hurting someone is bad enough, but when it’s someone you respect so much it’s too painful. I realized that my blog has now done more harm than good so I took it down forever. So, now it will hopefully never harm anyone again.
More than just that, I am ashamed that I made such a foolish mistake. And in response to that shame, I’ve taken down my website as well. It’s cowardly, but in my shame I decided to hide.
I apologized to everyone who emailed me and took everything down but I still felt bad. It didn’t help that this event happened just as I was starting to get out of a depression. If I thought they would listen, I’d apologize again. I really am very sorry that I made such a hurtful and stupid mistake.
I spent the entire weekend crying and trying to pull myself back out of depression for what must be the fourth time this semester. I think I’m finally starting to recover. Thank you, AlaskaGamer, for spending time with me and helping me feel good again. And thanks everyone else who tried to cheer me up. All of your help and support was greatly appreciated. I don’t think I would have made it through this weekend without all of you.
I know it must sound horrible that I did something wrong and people still try to help me. They all care so they helped me deal with the fact that no matter what, from now on, I will know that I hurt someone, and it’s a person who didn’t deserve it. And a person that I really just wanted to be like. They are my hero and I hurt them and I don’t care if everyone tells me I should just get over it, that’s a painful thing to have to know. Even as I am starting to cope with it, I don’t think I will ever get over it. I hurt someone and that’s why my blog is down.
Thank you my few followers. It was nice to be read. Sometimes ranting to you was the only way I could make it through the night. Even when I deleted my posts before most people got to see them. Thank you and Goodbye.