Just yesterday I went to Game Over to see if they had any good co-op games to play. While browsing a guy asked if my cousin and I wanted to join a Goldeneye Tournament. On a whim, I did and I took first. The person in the photo with me took second. I’m not sure who they are, I didn’t get a name but they were coo.
I also didn’t expect a prize when I entered, but I got one: A gift card (shown above.) With my giftcard I bought Shadowrun (SNES) and a Birdo Plush. Birdo is the first trans character in video games which why I bought the plush. It’s also quite soft.
This weekend was Wizard World Comic Con Austin which was also my first convention. I decided to make a sort of fem Young Justice Robin, and my cousin dressed as Conner. We spent most of the first day wandering around, checking out the different booths and looking through the artist gallery. I was very awkward all through the convention but especially this day. I have social anxiety, I’m just glad the show floor wasn’t as loud as even a mall is, where I tend to get dizzy and have trouble breathing, often with or because of crying. I think that helped me stay moderately calm.
The second day I got to meet one of my childhood heroes Jason David Frank, AKA the Green Ranger from Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers(Picture Above). I also went to a panel by Christopher Judge so I got to see him speaking, which was by far one of the best panels. I bought tons of art prints the second day, including a picture of Buffy The Vampire slayer as a Loteria Card.
The third day was mostly dedicated to going to panels and taking pictures of some of the cooler cosplays, like the one above, the Dark Knight (as he introduced himself) who insisted I be in the picture with him. Unfortunately, our camera crapped out on us and I don’t have any pictures of Conner and I, in fact, that Dark Knight picture was the only decent one with me in it. Panels I got to see the third day were Breaking the Stereotypes, Diversity in Geek Culture, J. August Richards, Alison Mack, and another panel with Jason David Frank. Then we saw the first half of the costume contest and then we left and it was over. I’m now addicted. More cosplay and conventions to come.
I am 27 years old. I do not have my life together. I just graduated 3 months ago and I’ve already almost been homeless twice since then. The only reason I have not been is because of the charity of others. Right now I’m sitting in a spare bedroom at a relative’s house.
When I arrived I was completely exhausted and really needed time to heal. I had just been forced out of an abusive relationship by forces beyond my control. I had been living in a hotel for quite a while before, never knowing if I’d find enough money to keep my stay there for an extra week. I didn’t get to rest. I had to start working right away to make late payments and buy things I needed. I still have not been able to refill my hormones and I am running out soon but don’t have enough to order more.
It has been 3 weeks since I’ve gotten here and things have finally started to slow down and I have been able to think about my life in the longer term. I only now, after all this time have started getting plans.
I’m trying really hard to figure out my life but I feel completely lost. It is really difficult living only because others let you. I feel like I’m a complete loser. I’m a burden on everyone I know. because of that I never quite feel at home anywhere I go. I don’t fully feel welcome here but I don’t have a home to return to.
I also had to leave all my friends behind when I left Brownsville. And even though I get to spend time with my cousin, I still miss home. The dorms were the closest thing I ever had to a real home and to a family and now it’s gone and I can never return.
Honestly, I really wish I knew how to be an adult. I’m so scared and lost right now.
Things aren’t as desperate as they were last time I posted but not incredibly better so I could still use any commissions I can get, either art or writing. If anyone wants to hire me just email or Skype me.
After months of owning it, I finally got a chance to sit down and relax with some Shadowrun Returns. I finished it today and I have to say I am not at all disappointed. Playing a Decker actually wasn’t as fun as I thought it would be. There was only one moment in the game that I enjoyed doing a matrix run and it was partly because I had a team in a fire fight behind my deckers with my men protecting us while we hacked. The story was pretty enjoyable and reminded me a lot of the Genesis Shadowrun (kinda).
Character customization was at about what you’d want as far as stats but if you don’t build a character for combat, then boss battles get a little rough. I decided to ultimately focus on Body, Quickness, Intelligence and Charisma as my stats. And Pistols and decking being my primary skills. I like the talking options that extra charisma gets you, so I usually max that out in games that have it or something like it as an option.
I would definitely recommend Shadowrun Returns for any fans of Shadowrun and anyone looking for a fun turn-based strategy RPG type game.
Hey, Readers. Sorry for not being around lately. I haven’t had much to write and I’ve just been struggling with the stress of the end of a school year and a lot of personal drama and problems. I’m not sure if I’ve said this but I did graduate this semester. And now I’m unfortunately trying to raise money so myself and another trans girl don’t become homeless.
I’m taking on art and writing commissions if anyone wants to hire me.
I want to do either simpler art pieces or graffiti art. (sample, sample)
I don’t have any writing samples other than this blog.
Comment or contact me via email or skype (listed on my website) if you want to commission me.
Or if you want to donate my paypal is: email@example.com
I submitted a piece to be displayed in my school’s Juried Student Show, and it was actually selected. It’s an Oil Pastel nude of a trans woman. This is a picture of me in front of it during the opening night for the show.
It was an amazing experience to have a piece in a show. I didn’t think I would be selected but it was. I got to see how many paintings were submitted and it was a lot of stuff.
I think that is also the first time I’ve shared a photograph of me on this blog.
Things have been a bit interesting for me lately. I’ve sort of integrated into a new group of friends. I’ve had a lot of knew experiences. And I’ve been much happier overall. I haven’t had a bad day in Weeks. Having friends in person actively supporting me, and trying to help me has been really great.
Although I’m about to go out of town for the weekend and everyone seems to have gone out to do things, and left me here alone. No one invited me along, and people barely talked to me all day. I’ve always felt like I was sort of observing the group from the outside – like I have a backstage pass to all their happenings but I’m not a full member. It’s nights like this that make me feel that way. Everyone took off except for one of the friends, but they sent a girl back to pick him up, so I’m the only one that got left out.
I’ve told that guy how I’ve felt. He said that I’m not and he sounded very convinced but there’s still always moments like this. Moments where, despite the fact that I live with them, that they go do things together without inviting me. It wouldn’t be so bad except that these five guys are my only close friends. They’ve become like my family and this is my home, but right now it’s a very empty one.
I wish I could spend time with my friends before I’m gone for a weekend. Even though that’s not a long time I’m still going to miss them a lot. I’m still working on my issue with getting dependent on people. I feel like I’ve made progress but moments like this still get me down. I really don’t like being alone. It was ok when I was alone most of the day but all day and all night is too lonely for me at this point.
Quick note to anyone who emailed me. Sorry for the late reply, I did just answer. Always feel free to email me again, everyone.