I was talking with a friend recently. He was having some troubles and I was having some trouble but I wanted to be there for him. I tried to push my problems aside for long enough to help cheer him up but a few of my own complaints got through anyway. “God, it hurts,” is all I could say. That’s what I feel like. Every single day. It doesn’t go away. I try not to let it show too often. some days I do a better job dealing with it but more often than not I end up crying in the restroom by myself. I cry by myself because I’m afraid if I let my girlfriend see just how bad it is that she wouldn’t be able to handle it and she would leave me. I don’t have many friends left so I can’t lose her.
People tell me I can make new friends but I can’t. I’m too shy. I’m too scared. When my ASL class last broke into groups I was the only one sitting in the middle of the room with no one. I just sat there and tried to hide my tears.
I actually, don’t know what else to say. I’ll probably delete this post in a few days. I just needed to rant. I cry a lot less when I’m working. It helps to focus on something.
This post makes me sad. We’re there for you, Theresa. Whenever you need us, you know where to go.
Thanks, Menashe, I appreciate that. I don’t like bumming everyone out at the chat. Sorry to make you sad so early in the morning.