Retro Mini Reviews: Paperboy and Burger Time

I picked 2 arcade games because I wanted an easy week where I didn’t have to worry about finishing a game. At the time I didn’t think I would even beat Ninja Gaiden 2, but I did and then some. I also didn’t realize this week would be the week after school, and the week that most of my friends are offline. So, bored, lonely and with a cold, I wish I had a long adventure game to trudge through to make the time go faster.

Paperboy:

I was disappointed by how much skill I lost over the years. I used to boast about once beating a friend at Paperboy using my feet while eating an Arby’s roast beef sandwich. I’s been a decade and a half since those days and I haven’t even touched paper boy and it shows.

I had to relearn everything about the game. It is difficult to judge where you will hit stuff and where you will not. This becomes easier after you’ve hit, and evaded things a few dozen times but after 15 years, it’s not easy. I guess this is a flaw in the game’s design but it’s one I always overlook because the game is fun.

The goal of Paperboy is to deliver papers to your subscribers while avoiding obstacles in order to try to get a high score. You can get bonus points by destroying certain objects, like windows of non-subscribers and etc. but you then might run out of papers to throw and miss houses. If you miss a subscribers house or accidentally hit their window you will lose that subscriber. The only way to get them back is by getting a perfect run which becomes easier the less houses you have.

I cannot really explain why Paperboy is so enjoyable. It’s just an arcade game with whimsy, fun, and some challenge, and a skater who looks an awful lot like my old skating buddy James who seems to crash into you way too frequently. The game has a bit of nostalgia for me but I still think it’s worth a play if you’re looking for a simple, enjoyable arcade game.

Burger Time:

If I remember correctly, my mom picked up Burger Time several years back, probably a few years after I used to play Paperboy, and I ended up having tons of fun with the game.

Burger Time has one of the weirdest concepts ever. You are a chef who makes burgers by running across them and making them fall down platforms until they reach the bottom all the while trying to outrun an egg and some hot dogs wearing Chucks.

Once you realize how the enemies move it’s easy to manipulate their paths to your advantage and get past the first couple levels without many deaths but it still gets really hard after that.

I can’t really explain how this game can be so good but it managed to become one of my favorite NES titles in my collection. It’s just a fun, quirky arcade game that I think everyone ought to try out for themselves. I still enjoy it after all these years even if I can’t really play well anymore.

Retro Review: Fester’s Quest

Here is TransGamerSociologist’s first ever Guest Post.  This review is by my good friend Hjort.

Uncle Fester: Explosives aficionado, human electric generator, general weirdo and quite the untraditional choice for a video-game protagonist, even by Addams Family standards; The man is old, pasty, fat, and dressed as if he’s on his way to expose himself to women outside the public library. The exposing part might not even be necessary since the getup itself in combination with Fester’s bald head kind of makes him look enough like a penis as it is. So, the dear uncle might not exactly be a Bill Rizer or Simon Belmont, but as we all know, being a hero has nothing to do with appearance, and everything to do with rising to the occasion. Yes, I’m aware that there is another penis joke in there, but one will have to be enough.

According to the game’s story, aliens have come to town for some good ol’ human abducting and, one can only assume, anal probing shenanigans. Thanks to a spell cast on the Addams’ mansion by Grandma, the aliens are unable to spot the life signs coming from the family, and it’s now up to the quirky clan, spearheaded by Fester, to save the kidnapped townsfolk.

Upon first inspection, the game-play seems to be a cousin of The Legend of Zelda, with an open-ended, top-down perspective world to explore and plenty of collectible items to help you on your way, but after a couple of minutes it becomes apparent that things aren’t quite what they seem. Most of the suburban roads you stroll down will lead you into dead ends, and as you progress the subsequent maps will leave you with increasingly less potential routes to take. The streamlining is also evident in that any important items will be hidden – and I use that term loosely – in houses on, or in close proximity to the correct path, making them hard to miss.

The different street areas are connected through the local sewer system, which, while sometimes featuring new enemy variations, mainly serves as a change of scenery and an excuse for the programmers to squeeze in another kick-ass tune by 8-bit legend Naoki Kodaka. A more interesting part of the game-play would be the buildings hiding the bosses. In an ambitious move for an 8-bit action game based on a 1960’s sitcom, your perspective changes from third- to first-person as soon as you walk in the door. There are no enemies to fight in the corridors and no puzzles to solve, basically reducing these sections to a rudimentary maze game, but the change of pace and perspective makes for a welcome break in between longer periods of relentless running (read: waddling) and gunning.

Speaking of the gunning, when a game’s manual gives you the advice to get a turbo joystick, you know your B-button is in for some punishment. If you’re not used to blasting the crap out of stuff with an NES controller, Fester’s Quest’s endlessly re-spawning monsters will tire you quite quickly, but if you’ve got a few hours of Mega Man and Contra under your belt, the game won’t be half as mean as some may have you believe. Any given enemy – including bosses – can quickly be convinced to pursue a career of daisy pushing as long as you never stop firing.

However, your gun can sometimes make hitting your mark a tad harder than it should be. Most of the eight different gun variations will shoot their projectiles in a wave formation, which means that there will be potential blind spots in-between the bullets, leaving openings for aliens to swoop in and smack Fester over his shiny dome. While this contributes to the hectic nature of the shooting, it’s always disappointing to find new weapon upgrades, hoping for some sort of assault rifle equivalent, only to get stuck with something that feels more like walking an unruly snake with a poor sense of direction.

Fester’s Quest isn’t one of the NES’s all-time greats, and not even one of Sunsoft’s better titles on the system, but it is nevertheless a somewhat enjoyable if mindless little blastathon for those of us who want to practice our button pressing endurance, or merely embrace our inner weirdo.

You can listen to some music from Fester’s Quest here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EW8byCf_Crw

Personal Rant #2

I’m sick. I got a cold. It’s not fun. I’ve been just trying to fight the urge to throw up phlegm again. As my roommate told a mutual friend ours (or something similar to these words), “She’s sick. She fashioned a robe out of a blanket and says she might be a Sith Lord. She’s not sure.”

School’s done, and I’m glad to be in the middle of Retro Month. The rest of the month can be used to, first get over my cold while playing a couple arcade games(Burger Time/Paper Boy) and then filling out my resume, and trying to find work. Once I feel better it seems like I will have plenty of time for more gaming this month too.

I’ve been having a lot of fun with this retro month. I enjoy playing games and writing my thoughts about them. Even though I’m not really getting many views, I am probably going to do this again some time but with different themes.

I mentioned that kid who said he loves me last rant. He messaged me earlier this weekend and seemed sorry. I asked him what was wrong and he told me he had a girlfriend now. I was a little disappointed that I was so easily moved on from, especially after he told me he intended on waiting for me. To clarify, I am happy for him, and am glad he’s moving on, and I hadn’t ever planned on dating him, which I’m sure he knew, but I was still a little surprised. I guess it feels really nice to be wanted, it gives me that extra little bit of confidence, especially when no one usually wants me.

For completely different reasons, I’ve been feeling really lonely lately…

That’s it, I guess – nothing else to say about that.

Retro Mini Review: Ninja Gaiden 2

I was once told, “you can’t resist the Ninja.” This is very true. Ninja Gaiden is the type of game that really draws you in; the more you play it, the more you want to play it. That’s because you are continually getting better in the most satisfying way. It demands skill, speed and precision. And that’s exactly what makes learning it so satisfying. Just during this week, I beat the game a total of six times.

One of the best things about Ninja Gaiden 2 is that it gives you incredible control over Ryu. At first it’s easy to think it’s too much. The game can be very difficult and has a steep learning curve initially but once you begin to understand the controls, the game gradually becomes easier until you are effortlessly running through segments you once thought impossible.

I had the opportunity to observe someone play who is leagues better than I am, even now that I am getting better. It was an amazing experience because I picked up tricks that I would never have thought of in my short week of playing. For example, certain enemies can be used to skip certain sections, and other times using an enemy to bounce forward can give you a short boost and saves you the time of having to kill the enemy, which is especially true when enemies are too close to the edge of a platform you’re trying to jump onto so there isn’t enough space to land in front of them.

I don’t even have to mention the visuals or the story because the game-play is so exceedingly well done. The only thing I will say is that the presentation on the cut-scenes is unmatched by any other NES game, though that bar isn’t set very high.

I have always liked Ninja Gaiden but playing through part 2 this week I have learned to appreciate it even more. This game is definitely a must play for everyone. “You can’t resist the Ninja”.

You can enjoy a bit of music from the Ninja Gaiden series:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXihX4GIiRM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0h5x3AxMYI#t=13m22s

And watch me beat the first level here:

Next week I will play:

Burger Time(NES) and Paper Boy(NES)

Personal Rant

I actually have no idea what to write so I’m just going to include lots of random anecdotes. Basically, I’m going to ramble.

Mostly, I’ve been worrying about french. I am bad at learning languages but if I pass this class then I can pick up my diploma in a couple weeks. I’m excited, and terrified. And thankful that it’s almost over, and pleading for more time so I can improve my grade. It’s a mixed feelings kinda time in my life right now.

I got drunk for the first time recently, right after finishing a pretty heavy french assignment and turning it in. My roommate was the one who insisted I buy alcohol. And I drank because I have issues that makes it hard to watch others drink. Things got way out of hand so, I will probably be never drinking again. Although my friend seems to think I will be. He might be right. But, I hope not.

This kid has been talking to me lately. I call him a kid but he’s of legal age. After talking with me a few times, (only one of which was a real conversation), he told me that he loves me and that he wants to be with me. I told him I was taken and he was upset.

I have mixed feelings about the whole deal. I am OK being friends with someone who is in love with me but I’m afraid to encourage him to continue to wait for me in hopes of being with me which he said he would do until I was available and liked him. He has been a good friend, except for one moment when he tried to coerce me into cybering with him, which I did not appreciate. He didn’t try it again after I told him that I would have to block him if he kept it up.

This semester with life and school and trans stuff has been so exhausting that I wish I could take a few weeks/couple months off after the semester ends but I know that if I do that, I will have to wait even longer for all the things I really want, like visiting that special guy I’ve mentioned, or helping my friends pay for surgeries and hormones and other trans stuff. So, I will be trying to get a job as soon as the semester ends. A good one, hopefully, now that I have my degree.

As a side note as my rambling comes to an end, the week has just began and I’ve already beaten this week’s game(Ninja Gaiden 2). I’ll let you guess as to whether that’s a good thing.

Retro Mini Review: Journey to Silius

   Jumping in Journey to Silius isn’t as precise as you may want from a game that involves jumping—this makes negotiating the more sadistically placed enemies and a later auto-scrolling level more a chore than a challenge.  Add to that a mechanic which precludes you from turning and jumping too quickly—you will turn and your jump will simply not happen—and you have a run ‘n’ gun that is more rewarding to deliberation and sweet-spot-finding than quick fingers.  This can be fine, but once you figure out all the tricks and sweet spots to each level and boss and complete the game there’s not much reward to coming back and polishing up on your dexterity.

The game contains several moments where taking damage is unavoidable.  Particularly notable are elevator sections where you cannot move and enemies may freely shoot you if the wicked game mechanisms operating behind-the-scenes don’t favor you.

Visually and design-wise, the levels and enemies therein become quite varied. Though, boss battles are very similar—jump and shoot the weak point—and aren’t very interesting. I found the best ways to approach certain obstacles were completely different than others, and the game provides a decent challenge even if the challenge doesn’t last that long, which is fine, too. Supplementing the possibilities when overcoming obstacles, you have access to a cumulative collection of weaponry, though you’ll find yourself coming back to your handgun and probably staying there.  It seems like the option for different weapons is only there because Mega Man has it, and the additional weapons don’t add any meaningful nuance to the game. Despite these and other flaws, there is fun to be had with Journey to Silius. It’s not the best game in my library, but it is an enjoyable one.

And yes, the music is wonderful.

You can enjoy a bit of Silius‘ music here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jkWYvENgxwA

And watch me beat the first level here:

Next game I will be playing is:

Ninja Gaiden II (NES, 1990)

Retro Month For TransGamerSociologist

Starting today, for one month, I will play and write about a handful of retro games. I will play each game for a week and then every Friday, I will put up a Mini Retro Review. I really hope you all like old games.

To balance things out and because I haven’t done one in a while, I am also going to be having Monday night personal rants. That makes sense in my head.

I hope at least a couple of you will read and enjoy my reviews.

The first game I will be playing is:

Journey to Silius (NES, 1990)

Mine

I bought this for a very special guy even though I knew I couldn’t give it to him. I had hoped to collar him but his girlfriend said no. I wasn’t trying to steal him away from her; I care a lot about her too and I would never do that to anyone, but I wanted him to be mine too.

I wish I could say I don’t know why I bought it, but my ex told me exactly why even if I didn’t say it. “Because deep inside you hope you can one day.” But now it just sits there empty and it will be empty forever. No one will ever wear it. It’s like torture. I put it on my bed and every time I walk in the room, I see it and it reminds me that he isn’t mine and that he can’t be. I lie down and I place it on my chest and I close my eyes and try not to think about it. And I try not to cry, but I don’t succeed.

Now, it’s back to bed for me. Back to my reminder that he’s not mine, that we can’t be anything more than this.

Organ Trail

TransGamerSociologis … [Gah! ran out of space]

Thanks for the game! (You know who you are)

Terraria

Day one: on this arbitrarily chosen day I am cast out into a strange world with only a few tools to aid in my survival in this world called Kalinea. Was there anything before this day that was significant? Why do I not have any sense of history to myself?

There is another person here named Seth. He drowned when a tunnel got flooded. I’ve only seen him a few times since then, moving around. I won’t be talking about him again.

I tested my ax on some trees and collected it’s wood. This might come in handy later. I tore down another tree and encountered a slime-like creature. It attacked me so I killed it.

I feel compelled to dig. I carved myself out a hideout. Maybe I’ll make a password for it. I found a natural cave structure and started digging it toward my own hide out. Soon I created a large underground passage straight through a rather large hill. Now the only thing left to do is go down.

Night One: I have been down here a long time. When I went out I realized it had gotten dark. I was attacked by ghouls. I see no purpose in fighting the dead so I flee into my tunnel. Some follow me in but they are soon dealt with.

I continue to dig. Now I’ve learned to avoid underground pools. It’s not long before I get the hang of where I’m going.

Day two: I ventured back out of the tunnels to find more supplies. More slime creatures attacked me. I killed them. I discovered that the remains of the creatures can be used to bring me light. This will come in handy in the darkness.

 

I dug all day. I’m heading back out now; it must be near night fall.

Night: I went out to get more wood and found a star that had fallen from the sky. I don’t know what I can use it for so I’ll keep it in my pocket. I’m heading back down so I can go further, deeper, to whatever awaits me.

Much down here is filled with stone. It takes so long to break through.

I find myself obsessively correcting the harsh mistakes that mother nature makes in her designs. I will make this cave my cave.

I haven’t been outside in so long I don’t know if it’s day or night. I will run out of materials for torches sometime and have to head out.

I found a fish. I liberated it into a larger pool of water. It seems happy.

Worm like creatures dwell down here, giant long creatures that attack you. I killed it but it was a terrible fight. The only way to know what way they come is to let them attack you then try to hit it first. It took quite a few hits to tear it apart.

This cave here has a heart. It just floats there like a stained glass window frozen in time. I don’t know why this cave needs a heart so I keep moving. My new tunnel needs to be swam to. It’s my way of keeping out the ghouls.

I created a forge for myself with an anvil, a stove, a workbench and other necessary tools. I put up a sign so everyone knows it’s “my forge”. There’s a grave there but I don’t remember dying. “Why do we pity the dead?” it asks.

I tunneled my way back out. Now my tunnel has 4 entrances. It gets dark underneath. Sometimes I only know it’s night by the sound of the dead wailing as they hunt for me in the tunnels above.

I’ve begun letting the earth decide which way I move, traveling through earth because it’s softer than stone. I still clear some of the stone though since I use it for construction.

Water – water everywhere. It becomes difficult to navigate around it. I make sure to keep my distance. We don’t want another flooding.

Day or Night too long to count, I have reached an area made entirely of stone. Digging through will take twice as long, but there’s no tell how long it is around. I must keep going further.

The tunnels in this area are getting smaller. I’ve found it difficult to dig through so much ground so I use tighter patterns. We’re making amazing progress. We will be there in no time… but where?

I, on occasion, discover large underground caverns. They are terrible discoveries. Smaller caverns are easier to integrate into my design but the larger ones take more to light and more effort to navigate. At least I’ve made tremendous progress.

I discovered a cavern with glowing mushrooms. Lots of water in this area, more enemies to contend with.

The area beyond the mushrooms is no different than that above it. Things have gone back to normal it seems. I haven’t been back to the surface. My last trip gathered enough materials for a long stay. There are slimes underground too, and they provide me with lots of fire.

Lava – lava everywhere. I don’t want to touch it. My skills in avoiding the water have aided me here. I can’t believe how far I’ve come and yet it seems so natural.

The lava has become increasingly difficult to navigate just as the water before it but I’ve managed thus far and I will not fail.

I’ve seen hell. I saw it with my own eyes. I witnessed the imps and demon’s that inhabit it. I have retreated for now but will continue in the morning, or whatever can be counted as morning. I think I will trek to my forge and fashion something to keep me safe.

Equipment forged, including my shiny new armor. I feel like a bright, easy target. Oh well. Onward, to face whatever awaits me…